Considerations When Buying Your Child’s First Cellphone

The decision of when to get your child their first cellphone can be nerve-wracking for parents and understandably so. It opens a whole new world with plenty of opportunities and not all of them are good. Sales associates can help with regards to features and benefits of the phones that they sell, but they’re not typically in position to discuss other parental concerns.

What follows is a review of the things that parents need to consider when looking for a child’s first phone.

The Actual Purchase & Costs Involved

Like all purchases, money can be a big factor, so let’s consider those factors first. Start with a budget and stay within it, because as I explain very soon, the price of the phone is just the start. On the Android side, phones can be purchased for less than $50 and go into the thousands for the latest models of top brands. On the Apple side, they tend to be more expensive, especially for the latest models.

To lower the price with either system, consider using a hand-me-down phone for your child’s first phone and upgrading a phone for an older family member. As some plans no longer require customers to trade in their current phone to get a new one, this is a lot easier than it used to be. When giving a child a used phone, be careful of what’s on the phone in terms of pics, documents and apps. It will be worth it to uninstall any apps and purge the saved images.

If you do plan on buying a new phone, maybe it doesn’t have to be a smartphone. There are plenty of “dumb” phones available for parents who want their kids to have a phone while avoiding the social media that goes along with smartphones.

For smart phones, you should make sure that your current data plan is big enough to prevent additional, unexpected charges from streaming endless videos.

Get your child a good protective case to protect the phone, even if it’s an older phone. Also consider a protection plan to cover damages or even lost phones. As a teacher at a local high school, I see plenty of broken phones with cracked displays. Our students use their phones to get hall passes via an app – something to consider before buying a dumb phone. They display a large green screen that students can show from a distance. At the grade school level, phones are banned completely. I’ve never taught at a middle school, so I don’t know their policy.

Last, but not least, make sure that your child knows that while they can use the phone, you paid for the phone and it’s yours and you are letting them use it. Make sure that they realize that means that you have the right to inspect the phone whenever you feel it appropriate.

Privacy & Online Dangers

All devices can have privacy issues. Most new phones at this point have multiple methods of keeping the wrong people from accessing it.

The first is a typical four-digit PIN (Personal Identification Number). With 10,000 possible combinations, it is unlikely that someone will be able to unlock the phone, so long as the PIN has no connection to the person. For example, 1201 could have been chosen because they were born on November 1^st or because they live(d) at 1201 Oak Street. For those reasons, this should never be that person’s PIN.

Even with 10,000 possibilities, too often, people make it all too easy to guess the code, so another way that is less likely to be hacked was created. Fingerprints are far less likely to get hacked and most phones accept more than one fingerprint in case of an issue (dirt, injury, etc.) with the primary finger. But this is not foolproof either. There’s a reason why a phone that is just turned on or rebooted can’t be unlocked with a fingerprint, as this cheating husband found out the hard way. The moral of the story is that if you’re going to sleep with your phone, turn it off or at least reboot it first.

Facial recognition is another way to protect what’s on a device, but even that isn’t foolproof. It is possible for a device to recognize someone putting the phone up to a sleeping person if they haven’t have their settings done correctly.

Have a frank conversation with your kids about what can happen to them online. Don’t scare them but let them realize that not everyone they engage with online might not be who they claim to be or have their best interests at heart. A good place to start is to read my previous article for Pediatric Safety.

Perhaps the biggest piece of advice that you can give your children is what they may have already said to you: TMI (Too Much Information)!  We all need to be mindful of what we post online. Watch this video and show it to your kids. Ask them if they understand what’s happening in it.

For all of the reasons mentioned above, parents need to do as I recommend above by making sure that your child knows that you can and at any time will want to see what’s on your phone that they use. Have your child give you the PIN and make sure they know that if they change it, they have to give you the new PIN immediately. We did this with our daughter and over the 8-9 years that she’s had a phone, I’ve checked twice, just for peace of mind. Once was in front of her and once was done and she never knew it. I never found anything of concern to me, thankfully.

Parental Controls & Limitations

Once your child has their phone, that’s only the beginning. It’s up to you to set the boundaries that you’re comfortable with setting. Remember, it’s your phone not theirs, so you get to decide what’s acceptable in how it’s used. Just as it would be if they borrowed your car.

Start by setting limits on time usage and which apps are okay to use and which they should not use. It is possible (and very easy) to hide which apps have been downloaded onto a phone. To know for sure, try to download it. If you are given the choice to “Open” the app as compared to “Install” the app, it’s already on the device and may be hidden.

Installing parenting software is a dicey choice if the child does not know that it has been installed and finds out about it on their own. We installed it on our daughter’s phone, and she knew about it. We’ve never really needed it for concerns about her online activity, but the GPS tracking feature allowed us to find it when it fell out of her pocket in a shopping center and it gives her the ability to track us when we’re on our way to visit her at college so that she’s ready in time.

All phones have an activity log. It can tell you how often and when they’re using their phone. It can also tell you the time spent on each app, so if they’re allowed to use an app, but you want to limit their time using it, you’ll know for sure if they’re doing what you want. Here’s how you view the activity log on an Android or iPhone.

As many parents don’t want their kids to use their phone at all hours of the night, get a docking station that can charge multiple devices and keep it in a neutral location, such as the kitchen or den. This will help ensure both a good night’s sleep and fully charged devices to begin each day.

Most new phones come with some kind of warranty to protect against damage (at least for a while), but they may not offer protection in the event of a lost phone, so be sure to ask what their plans cover. Either way, take advantage of the Find My Device feature to help recover a lost phone.

Parents’ Responsibilities

Before you purchase that first phone, make sure that they are ready for it. It’s a big responsibility in terms of buying an expensive piece of technology and the monthly service plan costs. It’s an even bigger question to know if they’re mature enough to use the phone wisely. Every parent whose child got into trouble online probably felt that their child was mature enough, only to be mistaken.

Part of answering the question of their maturity is to make sure that they understand the T.H.I.N.K. Principle, as shown in the figure to the right. Once someone understands and agrees to follow this concept, they will be far less likely to post something that can lead to trouble.

Children are far more observant than some adults give them credit for. We can teach them how to act online not only by instructing them, but by acting as good members of the online community. One of the best PSAs from the 1980s involved a father trying to find out how his teenage son learned about using drugs, only to find out that the boy learned it by watching his father use drugs. It was one of the most successful PSAs shown on television.

Bottom Line

All of the points raised here are a good start, but just because your child is asking for a cellphone does not mean that you must get one. They may not be ready to accept the responsibilities that go along with owning a phone.

Whenever they get their first smartphone, accept that your child will almost certainly make mistakes. We all do. Hopefully, they will not be devastating as they could be. There is a huge difference between being able to use technology and being able to use it wisely! Wisdom comes with experience – the one thing that they lack due to their age.

After everything covered here so far, there is one thing that parents must still realize: this is a never-ending mission to help their children use technology wisely. Be on the lookout changes in their behavior that could indicate a problem. If you suspect that they are having a problem, they may not be eager to discuss it.

They may fear punishment from their parents if they were ordered not to do something and they did it anyway. This is a huge reason why some kids stay silent. To get them to open up to you, read this previous article for Pediatric Safety.

Finally, find some good sources of information to help you stay informed of the latest trends and concerns.  Here are four that I highly recommend:

The first is https://www.stopbullying.gov/, a great source of information supplied by the U.S. government. It covers a wide range of helpful information.

Next comes the Owleus Bullying Prevention Program, provided by Clemson University and the program’s founder, Dan Owleus. Dr. Owleus had a lifetime passion for helping those hurt by bullying in all forms.

The third is the Cyberbullying Research Center, a terrific source of information on cyberbullying around the world. I use it myself and have met one of the founders and he clearly has a passion for bullying prevention.

The last source is my own company, Safety Net of PA, LLC. You can follow my company on Facebook, X, and Instagram, where I give daily information that helps everyone use technology wisely and productively, with an emphasis on cyberbullying prevention.